A Demonstrably Dangerous Activity

The so-called "sport" of skiing has recently claimed the lives of two public figures - Salvatore "Sonny" Bono and Michael "Mickey" Kennedy.

Both men inhabited that strange domain of American public life known as "celebritihood". Meaning that neither man had achieved anything remotely of note other than having been who they were.

In fact, there are eerie parallels between the "careers" of the two.

Both had serious showbiz connections.

Mickey was related, through marriage, to the star of "Terminator", and, through blood, to the producer, director and star of "Chappaquidick: The Movie".

Sonny was the former husband of Oscar-winning "actress" Cher and father of the innappropriately named "Chastity", a well-known lesbian and putative recording artiste.

Both grew fat off the public purse.

Sonny claimed a salary as a Congressional representative (although who he represented - other than himself and a few fat, Southern California Republicans - was never clear).

Mickey claimed to run a "charity", which, in what some may regard as an excess of charitable zeal, paid him a salary of more than $600,000 per year.

And ultimately, of course, both died from unintended and inappropriate arboreal contact.

The incomes of both were enough to allow them the luxury of long vacations enjoying an indubitably rich man's sport. Their deaths serve to remind the poor that the wealthy are not immune to life's vicissitudes, a fact which will not have escaped Mickey's former baby-sitter.

There is a sense, of course, in which the world can rejoice in the social stratification of sport. Is it not to mankind's ultimate well-being that the poor are restricted to such inexpensive - and risk-free - pastimes as dominoes, greyhound racing and scrabble?

After all, were the masses to take to the slopes, the ill-paid workers who tailor the raiment of the rich may well succumb to a tree in the head. And then where would we be?

The deaths of these two "celebrities" serve to highlight the inherent risks of being rich. And in a society which rewards the rapacious with wealth and fame, we must ask ourselves whether we can afford such a potential price.

I have no idea whether or not either Bill Gates or Donald Trump is an avid skier. But the very thought that these archetypal American heroes might be should be enough for the American people to call for a ban on what is a demonstrably dangerous activity.

John Blower
January 9, 1998