We were asked by Wordswork to rewrite a document produced by a company based in Belgium. The language was a stilted mix of badly translated French and German vocabulary and grammar.
We are required to keep the content confidential, but here's an innocuous excerpt which gives a flavor of how this job was tackled.
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Before
The health care system is, in accordance to the organization of the state, highly decentralized. The national government does set the general framework for the health care system and determines which bodies are involved as well as the basic decision-making procedures. As a result of the growing health care expenditures in the last ten years coupled with a sinking income of the insurance funds because of the high unemployment the government has taken a strong influence on the health care system in the last years. The main aim of most measures was to contain costs, since the government has a vital interest in reasonable health care costs. The level of contributions employers have to pay for the health insurance of their employees is an important factor when it comes to the costs of work, a crucial point for Germany, which is fighting with a rather high unemployment rate. Even though, as will be seen later, the largest part of the organization and administration of health care is actually left to the involved partners, thus the health insurance funds and the health care providers, the MoH has in many cases a veto right or other forms of by law foreseen influences. |
After
The healthcare system is highly decentralized. The national government sets the overall framework and determines which bodies are involved, as well as basic decision-making procedures. As a result of the rise in healthcare expenditure over the last ten years, along with a decline in insurance fund income due to high unemployment, government influence has increased. The main aim of most measures has been to contain costs - an area in which the government has a vital interest. Employer contributions to employee health insurance is an important component of the costs of employment, a crucial factor for Germany, which is grappling with high unemployment. As will be seen later, most of the organization and administration of healthcare is left to health insurance funds and healthcare providers. The MoH has a veto under certain circumstances.
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