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The Touch
Errol is a small town in Northern New Hampshire. Its resident population is some 300 souls. The population rises dramatically in the summer months due to the town's proximity to Lake Umbagog. We were camping at a remote site on an island on the lake. On Saturday, July 3, 1999, we drove into Errol for brunch. We arrived at around 1 o'clock. The only place in town to eat was the Errol Pub & Restaurant. We sat in the smoking section and ordered. There was a commotion at the door. Lamar Alexander had arrived. Mr Alexander is a candidate for the office of President of the United States. He is a lawyer and a former Governor of Tennessee. He worked the room, pressing the flesh and exchanging words with the diner's patrons. Eventually, he arrived at our table. He shook Ann's hand. Then he shook mine. His handshake was neither firm nor limp. He ignored the children. "I'm a candidate for President of the United States," he said. Lamar - I think I can call him that - was wearing a dark green lumberjack shirt and freshly-pressed chinos. His attempt to be One of the People. He stuck out like a sore thumb in a room full of people wearing shorts and baseball caps bearing the word CAT. He's short - about 5' 8". He has mousey-colored hair. His ears stick out, like Prince Charles'. He is a beige man. "Unfortunately, I can't vote," I said. "Despite paying taxes, I do not have the right to vote. If you are elected, will you support the notion of "No Taxation Without Representation"?" "Fine principle. One of the principles on which this country was founded," Lamar mumbled. "Do you live here?" "Yes. In Manchester," I replied. My question was, quite evidently, not on The Agenda. Lamar moved on to a table occupied by a family of voters. I tried to imagine Lamar telling Ehud Barak to negotiate with the Palestinians. Or facing down Slobodan Milosevic. It didn't work. I've met a few politicians during my tenure on Planet Earth. Some of them have The Touch - when you're in a room with them, you know it. They have a presence. It's called "charisma". Lamar Alexander doesn't have it. "Cool name," remarked Evan (13). "??" "Sounds like a basketball player." "Yeah. I'm 6' 8" and black too," I said. "Let's go." July 4, 1999 |
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